It's Important for Couples to be Headed in Same Direction
by Deborah Hill

Many of us have been programmed to believe that two people in a healthy love relationship must merge their lives together. It's believed that we must share many common interests and then spend a lot of time together sharing them. But, this isn't necessarily true. In fact, two people can be different in many ways, with many different interests and opinions, and still be happily in love.

What’s important is that they’re aware of the impact they have on each other and release any resistance, any negativity and judgment- towards the other's behavior, hobbies and beliefs. Two people with different views can come together in love to share ideas and learn from each other. This is possible with trust and complete respect for one another.

Imagine how it would feel if the person you're with had a different mind set and tried to convert you. There would be obvious problems. Now picture the same person having respect and admiration for you. Ideas and opinions would intermingle seamlessly and flow together into new understanding.

Traits to look for in a mate or companion are fortitude and strength, a sense of purpose, some similar hobbies, consistent values, truth, honesty, and the ability to be flexible and open to new opinions and suggestions. It is important for individuals to be on the same path, or at least headed in the same direction. But, the paths may not look the same, though the direction is.

It’s important to recognize that we all have a different purpose in life. A person who is on a path which he calls "awakening" can be happy with someone who has a different goal. Both individuals can benefit from the information offered by the other to learn and grow in a new way. The perspective each gains on a topic or life in general is much broader than the perspective of someone who lives with another who has the same orientation in life.

Having many things in common might be enough to keep two people moving in the same direction and enjoying each other. Common backgrounds and experiences, a similar way of processing information, and having the same viewpoints may make it easy for two people to get together. But it may be difficult for them to stay together without bringing other people and experiences into the relationship. People who look for a mate who is identical to him or herself, for someone to merge with, may soon become bored and restless.

Life will always be exciting and informative for two people who have different experiences and orientations, but who are on the same path and journey, whether knowingly or not. Life will offer new possibilities and combinations of events that otherwise would be impossible. Remember that it’s essential for the two to be open and interested in the other's viewpoint and way of responding to life. One person may be from an elite background, adept at manners. The other may be from a warm and compatible environment where family love comes easily. One will teach social graces and skills, the other family values and love. This is wonderful synergy!

Many people are searching for a soul mate. However, true soul mates are actually different aspects of the same being. It's possible for a soul to be in two different bodies at the same time. These different bodies rarely meet because they are actually parts of the same soul. Occasionally, a soul may want to have the experience of meeting itself in another form. The soul may want to process a lot of information at once. Or, it may want to learn to love and accept parts of itself in a new way. But, this is a rare situation. Most of us are actually seeking other souls to share with and learn from. And different souls express themselves in different ways.

When in a relationship, allow yourself to love and give of yourself, but don't sacrifice any part of yourself to another. This behavior is crippling to both people. No matter how much love and delight you feel for your partner, he or she is a separate individual, with separate needs. Each of us is essentially unique. We each have an essence of spirit that is our own. It's delightful to share this essence by giving love and being a light to those around us. But only share if it feels comfortable. Don't let others take what isn't theirs.

Life is a series of many types of relationships and it’s important we learn to respect everyone. We are all different parts of the same Universal soul and each of us plays an essential role in the scheme of the ever unfolding nature of life. Enjoy and cherish the time we have with each other, whether we appear to be on the same or on different paths. Each of us is essential and worthy of respect and admiration, and love.

Deborah Hill is author of the new book, "The Writings of the Masters" (ISBN: 1-59330-021-2; $15.95). She is a popular clairvoyant reader and coach, teacher and artist. For more information on her book or private sessions, visit: or e-mail her at