Victimhood is a shadowy, insidious state of consciousness that halts our spiritual journey. Victim consciousness is spawned from a grave misunderstanding about who you are, and will cause you to constantly feel powerless in your life. The true Self is an empowered being, never anyone's victim or pawn. It never occurs to the true Self to blame life, or anyone else, for anything. It will always look for the lesson to be learned or for a creative solution to any hurtful issue that arises.
Anytime you hear yourself say, "Why me?" or start to feel hopeless, you have simply gotten lost in a human condition and forgotten why you came here. Instead of coming from your authentic Self, a subpersonality called "Victim" has taken over your eyes, your voice, and your perceptions, pretending to be you. Subpersonalities are wounded, unintegrated fragments of our ego and do not represent our whole Self. I know that I certainly do not want a wounded little unhappy self to run, or perhaps I should say ruin my life! So think about this, and see if this life lesson applies to you.
When you are trapped in victim consciousness, you feel yourself to be at the mercy of someone or something. This view is disempowering, and sets up the conditions for you to suffer again and again. Researchers in human consciousness say that thought is creative. As long as you expect to be victimized, a string of "perpetrators," real or imagined, will stretch far into your future life. Remember, the universe always says "yes;" it will give you back exactly what you expect to see. Whatever you obsess about and feed emotion into will manifest. This is truly how consciousness works.
There's no denying there is appalling abuse that happens in our world. But nothing here can be known or healed unless we take it on and make it conscious. Even getting born into an abusive or sick family is part of God's sacred design for human purification and transformation. What we learn from being in this family gives us our strengths, or sometimes even our life's work. We are there because we belong there to help make conscious and heal this particular family's unredeemed issues.
"But why," you might be thinking, "do innocent children have to experience such horrors as sexual abuse? Where is the sacred justice in that?" You're forgetting that small children are big souls in little bodies, and that the strongest souls take on the hardest lessons. They are Humanity's teachers. Editor's note: Sex abuse does not always occur because a spiritual lesson needs to be learned; rather, the sex abuser's destructive actions can and often do prompt the victim to respond to the injustice by becoming a therapist, healer or counselor so that they may help other sex abuse victims. In helping others, they heal their own wounds, hence, the archetype of the ‘wounded healer.’
Together with the universe, you can co-create whatever reality you want. You don't do this by changing your outer circumstances or anything that's already been set in motion, but by carefully constructing the mental image of where you'd like to go from here. The way you perceive your reality can even change. Blaming others or falling into shame for our mistakes is a non-growth choice. When we start plummeting into victimhood, we are called to look at what went wrong with our eyes wide open, and take full responsibility for our part. Then, instead of blaming yourself, "stand tall" and decide to practice a new way of reacting. What positive quality would you need to overcome this feeling? Courage? More discernment? Acceptance of what is? Invoke this positive quality and practice being it.
You can even create a positive archetype which can give you energy, power and an unshakable faith in yourself. Stop blaming others and you will be surprised how liberating this can be - how powerful you can be when you take back your power.
Though we cannot avoid suffering while living in human bodies, we can learn to respond to it with compassion for those who have caused us to suffer and for ourselves for having undergone the misery. Forgiving those who have harmed us is one of the most healing things we can do for ourselves. When we forgive someone, we naturally relinquish some pattern of self-righteousness or one-sided thinking. Our greater Self knows that letting go of blame, including self-blame, is a sacred act.
Jacquelyn Small is founder of Eupsychia Institute, an educational organization that offers certified trainings, corporate wellness programs, personal coaching and healing retreats for professionals and others seeking personal transformation and soul-based psychology. She is also the author of several empowering books. For more information, visit: www.eupsychia.com or write: Eupsychia Institute, PO Box 151960, Austin, TX 78715-1960, (800) 546-2795.